I have stated repeatedly
that EFT always, always goes to forgiveness (when practiced effectively and
frequently).
Forgiveness is the
pardoning others unconditionally for offenses done to us, either real or
perceived. Forgiveness is the highest form of unconditional love. It is exactly what Jesus gave us when He went
to the Cross at Calvary in our stead (John 3:16). He restores us into the eternal friendship
circle with the Trinity.
Proverbs 17:9 (TPT) says
it this way, “Love overlooks the mistakes of others,
but dwelling on the
failures of others devastates friendships.”
As I was recently reading
1 Corinthians 13 in my new Passion
Translation I was struck at how some of these verses read in comparison to
other older translations.
Verses 4 through 8a read
like this: “Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is
gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when
blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements
nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and
disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or
quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no
delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never
stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it
never gives up. Love never stops loving.”
These verses sound so much more down to earth than the usual
translations that I read. To me it strikes more solidly at the heart of the
practical approach and meaning of what forgiveness and love actually look like,
as one ponders HOW to actually carry them out.
However, the verse that
really stuck out in 1 Corinthians 13 to me was verse 11 that says in TPT, “When
I was a child, I spoke about childish matters, for I saw things like a child
and reasoned like a child. But the day came when I matured, and I set aside my
childish ways.” While this reads similarly to the NIV version, here is the part
that highlighted this verse for me.
The NIV verse says, “When I became a man, I
put the ways of childhood behind me.” That is all well and good, but simply
become mature in age alone doesn’t always, or even usually, get us to spiritual
maturity.
When we have childhood trauma there are many
things going on in our bodies, minds, souls, and our spirit. Some beliefs we
are aware of, other things we have no idea even exist. Because God implanted in
us at birth the ability for our subconscious mind to conveniently “forget” our
deep emotional pain, we may never come to that adult love and forgiveness place
we where we want to be.
In that “forgetting” God instilled a mechanism that affords us safety because
the memories may be too harsh, damaging, disquieting, etc. He knew when He
created us that sin would enter the world through Adam and Eve. He knew sinful
humans would do unspeakable things to each other. These were things that would
literally kill us if we were able to remember them. Witnessing these
inexpressible moments or having the same unimaginable situations happen to us
personally can often cause a break in our psyche. We simply cannot handle
emotionally what has happened, so our mind breaks off those pieces of memory
and hides them from us.
I’ve written extensively about how those
hidden unbelievable memories often cause a state of chronic physical stress
which then leads to diseases. Our bodies cannot handle long term lingering
stressful memories. Remember, everything we have ever seen or heard or experienced
is retained within our subconscious mind. It is all stored there and running as
an active, present day memory whether we consciously remember it or not.
Verse 11 talks about, “setting aside my
childish ways” but what exactly might that mean in real life? Does it mean you
suddenly use good table manners? Or could it mean you use proper speech and
grammar? Perhaps you realize that carousing all weekends in a bar, drinking
your way until dawn doesn’t make Monday morning work out so well? This list is
endless as regards habits we no longer do as we age.
I’m thinking of a different spin on verse 11.
As we mature in both age and behavior, how do we now look back decades on old
memories and loosen old hurtful memories, allowing them to move toward
forgiveness and loving the perpetrator.
How is that actually done? Frankly, neither
Scripture nor too many preachers that I have heard seem to be able to tell us
precisely HOW to accomplish this.
Often the priest or pastor simply espouses that we should forgive because Christ Himself forgave us.
Great idea, pastor, but you don’t understand
the level of pain, hurt, hate, and rage I feel toward that person who did that
to me! Give me a tool to do that forgiving and loving you talk about!
God has now given us that tool. It is too bad
not many pastors know about this technique just yet, but a time will come when
all will know about Emotional Freedom Techniques.
My question to you is this: What have you done
with your anger, resentment, rage, and hatred about incidents and things that
happened to you over the past decades?
Do they still run your life? Do you think
about them daily, or multiple times a day? Do you make future life decisions
based on how those early memories play in your mind? Do you fear the future
because of the past?
1 John 4:18 tells us perfect love casts out
fear. Love and fear cannot co-exist. Either one is in control or the other is.
In your life which reigns supreme?
Love is bound up in forgiveness. When
forgiveness comes to the forefront, fear no longer stand.
I’ve personally had many emotional memories to
tap about over the past decade, so my challenge to you is: Are you ready to be that mature Christian
Apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13? Are you ready to put aside your
childish insecurities and fears? Are you ready to meet those old memories
head-on, neutralizing their emotional content so you can love others
unconditionally thereby freeing yourself from the chronic physical and
emotional stress.
God understood that forgiveness is maturity in
Christ that exhibits the Fruit of the Spirit in everyday living is NOT for the person you forgive. It is for YOU! You personally are the
one who benefits. The other person may never know you have forgiven them.
When we forgive, God often releases the
physical aspects we’ve held for years in our bodies around the unforgiveness.
This is often our physical healing in addition to our emotional and spiritual
healing.
If you are ready to completely heal,
experiencing God’s love, joy, and peace in your life, consider learning to tap.
It’s easy to learn. It’s a self-help tool once
you master its methodology. And it is for us Christians to use because it is
all based in God’s created healing physiology.
Remember, EFT is NOT a substitute for sound
medical or psychological help or advice. Please take care of yourself and phone
your own personal physician when assistance is needed.
Sherrie Rice Smith
Certified EFT Practitioner
Author of EFT for Christians Devotions (Christmas, 2020)
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