Friday, October 2, 2015

Paula's Story about Her Dad's Death

EFT for Christians book has been out for many months now, and exciting things have been happening.

Here is a case study outlined in EFT for Christians on pages 163-170 with a follow-up comment Paula listed at the bottom of the case study. This is a shortened version of the printed book story.

If you are a Christian, or if you know anyone interested in becoming a Christian EFT practitioner, please give them my website - http://www.EFTforChristians.com/ . My email and book ordering information can be found there.

Paula and Dad
As a member of a Christian medical organization, I was asked to give a speech about exactly what our group does. I agreed. The only business cards I had with me were my EFT for Christians ones, so I tossed them, literally, on the tables for the ladies to take if they so desired.

I did my presentation as requested. As we finished with the follow-up questions, someone asked me, “What is this?” pointing to my business card. I asked if it was permissible for me to describe it. The group agreed for me to go ahead.

During the talk, an older lady began to cry. I, of course, noticed her, and inquired what was wrong.

Paula looked me in the eye, and asked, “You mean to tell me if we tapped, I can move some of these emotions I have about seeing my Dad killed before my very eyes when I was seven years old?” I grinned and told her, “Yes, I think I can help you. When do you want to tap?” “Right now!” came her answer.

I was agreeable to tap right then and there, as the rest of the group was ready to go home to supper. A few asked if they could stay to “watch.” I gently told them I didn’t think that to be a good idea. Paula and I needed to do this tapping alone.

I found us a quiet corner in the building, and then I went looking for some tissues, and a pen and paper. I almost always take notes. I use them to go back to test and retest our tapping results. I believe I get a more thorough clearing because sometimes, I, too, get into the client’s story and to remember later the possible six, or eight, or ten different things we covered is difficult. Note-taking is a personal choice. No client has ever asked me not to do so.

As with my usual methodology, I opened with prayer and I asked Paula to begin tapping immediately. Some coaches dislike this because they feel it brings the emotions down too much, making it more difficult for the client to access what is going on in the memory. I, personally, find it does the exact opposite. It gives notice to the subconscious to wake up and help out here, it is time to tap and clear out emotional memories. 

With that earlier little crying sentence Paula gave me, I didn’t anticipate this to be a dry, tearless session – her father’s death. No way was this story going to be told without many tears.

I inquired as to how old she was when her father died. Paula answered, “I was seven and I saw it happened and it has influenced my whole life since. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about that accident. And, I know it impacts my relationship with my husband, and my children. I hover over them for fear something bad will happen to them. I can’t ever lose someone like that again, but I know I have to leave things in God’s hands, and I can’t. I worry constantly.”

“Paula, tell me the story, please, in your own words. When you hit a part in the story that is really emotional, stop and we will tap that part until you are comfortable going on,” I instructed her.
She began the story, “My dad was the godliest man I knew. He read the Bible to me, took us all to church, and treated us all so well. I pretty much just adored him. He decided one weekend to help a neighbor man move to a new apartment. He took all of us kids along in order to give Mother a break. We loved being with dad. Everything was loaded in the truck and I asked dad if I could sit in his lap. He and my older brother were sitting on the open tailgate of the truck. Dad told me no and put me up against the truck cab in front.

Off we started with the neighbor man driving. Suddenly, the truck hit a pothole. I heard the tailgate slam up and down, and then I saw both my brother and dad slide off the flipping tailgate. My brother rolled, but dad went straight down on his back, hitting his head on the pavement.”
As you can imagine, the tears began in earnest. I assisted her in tapping every single detail of those two paragraphs, until she could say them without any emotion in her voice.

She continued, “Finally, the man stopped the truck. Someone closed up the tailgate trapping me in the truck. I hollered to get them to let me out. Another man picked me up and set me down on the road. I saw dad. He was lying still with his head in a big puddle of blood.”

The crying understandably resumed at this point.

Once again, I helped her tap down all the emotions around this part of the story. She calmed, blew her nose, and said, “Let’s keep going.” What a brave woman!

A lady from across the street came to get me while all the commotion of the ambulance was happening. I don’t know who called my mother. The lady sat me down on her porch steps and gave me some rootbeer soda and a cookie.

To break the tension a little bit, I stopped her and said, “I bet you don’t like rootbeer soda to this day, do you?” Paula looked at me and inquired, “How did you know that?” I smiled and said, “Because rootbeer is associated with this horrible negative memory, I knew you’d never drink it again.” Paula looked at me like she had never thought of that before (and she probably hadn’t) and I asked her to continue with the tale.

“The ambulance took dad away and I never saw him alive again. I know he was alive in the street because I could hear him moaning.” And, once again, the crying began, great big sobs, with her shoulders shaking, as if she was experiencing the incident right now in the present. Frankly, to her subconscious, she was because, until this incident has EFT applied to it, her subconscious is playing this accident in her mind and body as it is still present tense. 

We repeated the tapping process again, covering all the specific details of this particular part of the story until she settled down and the crying stopped.

At that point, she did tell me more about what happened to the family after her dad died, and how hard it was on her older siblings and her mom to keep food on the table. Paula’s job was to watch the younger kids while everyone else went to work.

We continued to tap as she related the rest of the story details to me, but she never cried again. The “punch” had been pulled out of the incident.

I have no idea how long we tapped, but my best guess is about forty minutes. I asked her to one more time to tell me the whole story again from a neutral place of having breakfast before dad loaded them all in the truck to help the neighbor.

Paula did as I instructed her. Even she was surprised at how little emotion she had about the event. She stopped twice and commented about how different she now felt. I noticed that her emphasis on particular adjectives had lessened. She changed a few words that had a harsh meaning previously to something more subdued. “Terrible” was changed to “bad”. “Huge puddle of blood” under her dad’s head was just a “puddle of blood.” The biggest change was how she said the words, “Bang, bang, bang,” complete with hand raising and lowering emphasis indicating what the truck tailgate had done when the truck hit that fatal pothole. By the third of fourth telling of the story, the “bang, bang” were just words said in an emotionless manner.We EFT practitioners see this quite often. Words change or soften once the emotion is pulled out of the traumatic event.

In the telling of the story, Paula told me how mean this neighbor man had become after that, saying, “Why couldn’t it have been him that was killed and not my dad. He began to drink a lot after that accident.”

I asked her if she hated this man. In typical Christian fashion, Paula said, “Oh, no, we aren’t allowed to hate.” I asked again, “Do you hate this man? Tap and ask the Holy Spirit if you do.”
She compiled, and she looked at me with big wide eyes, saying, “You know, I do hate him. I never realized that!”

Doing the repentance part of Christian EFT, I asked if she would like to confess that sin of hatred right here, right now, before God and complete the process. Paula readily agreed!
I lead her through a confession of sins, in a simple manner, as God doesn’t require lofty words. He just wants to hear us say that we are sorry from a sincere heart, and He will indeed forgive us. He always does! He’s our heavenly Father.

I barely  finished the prayer, and Paula replied, “I never thought of this! No wonder that man was so mean and drank so much. He had a reason to do so.” And I replied, “Yes, because he was responsible for your father’s death!”

Never have I seen such a beautiful grin as the one planted on Paula’s face at that moment. I knew in my heart God had just done another one of his miraculous healings through the power of his created EFT. My heart was bursting, knowing what I had just experienced – freeing of a sister in Christ from a lifelong haunting event. EFT most often is a permanent healing, if we did our work well.

A week later, I received a written thank you from Paula. I quote it here:
“My burden has been lifted since our session together.
I no longer feel like my witnessing of my father’s accident is still happening over and over. I am set free and know it happened, but I don’t relive it. As for my feelings toward the neighbor man, hate is gone and so is the blame. I know all was in God’s mysterious plan.
I live in the now and know I’m part of God’s plan and He leads me.
I tap and unload all other things that come up daily. We are so wonderfully made.
Thank you so much for helping me to help myself.
God bless you and all you do for others,
Paula”

Paula summed up in one small note nearly everything we teach EFT to be. It pulls the emotion out of our past, putting us in the here and now, living in the present, enjoying all that God gives us. Forgiveness and empathy tends to follow the tapping, giving us the ability to emulate our Savior when He went to the Cross on Calvary and carried all our sins, there to forgive us all.
I am so blessed to be allowed to do this process for my Christian family, and any other precious people that God sends my way. Amen! Paula and I never tapped again, although she has told me she does use EFT when anything emotional arises in her life.

“7/25/15 I must tell you of this happening yesterday. Our four children were gathered at our home for a family patio dinner. Son & wife in from MI & daughter & husband in from lower FL. Our other two children are from here. In our later evening conversation around the fire I had everyone's attention telling them how I was freed from the heavy load I carried for 68 years. I no longer break down when I mention the death of my father. They asked how so told them of my session with you & explained the tapping. This also was the first time my husband had knowledge of it & asked why. I said I felt you would think it hokum. I told them you wrote my experience changing my story in her book which she gave me. At that, my youngest daughter went inside to my bookshelf. She came outside with it finding the Paula story. With everyone silent she read the complete story to all. They were amazed! She then asked if she could borrow the book to read, I said by all means. Not one of the 18 family members belittled it at all!! I can't thank you enough.”

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