Showing posts with label incest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label incest. Show all posts

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Sexual Abuse and Tapping

Why don't women, in particular, seek help after sexual abuse. Here's why!

The term "rape" is the overarching global title given to any uninvited sexual event. And the exposing of it all, thanks to the Pennsylvania Grand Jury 2018 Report , is messy, soon to become messier, as the extent of the cover-up and complicity comes to light.

Underneath that broad topic is the sub-category of incest. We know in EFT that a trauma to one person is not a trauma to another & how each of us responds is indeed extremely individualistic.

But incest carries another couple of layers of pain/deeper issues.

Because most perps are known to any rape victim having a close family member take sexual advantage of a child/adolescent creates a double or triple "bust of trust", as I call it.

Rape may be a one time event, violent, unwarranted, but incest within an offending household can literally go on for 1-2 decades, event following event following event. Memories building chemically, binding the victim in a web of hardened core beliefs, as stated in this article. Often PTSD follows because of the complex developmental trauma.

There is so much bio-chemically bound up into the mechanism as to the whys and hows a victim gets tied to his/her perp. It hardwires itself into another disconnected (dissociated) story of its own whereby the truth becomes so blurred that extracting the facts decades later in nigh unto impossible.

As we become a better trauma informed society, this will change. But we are nowhere even close yet. I still have EFT acquaintances who cannot discuss this subject, let alone tap with a client on the topic.

For all of you reading this, please just remember - be compassionate, listen if called upon to do so, no judgments please, and tap for yourself as you hear any sexual trauma (or any trauma) stories told to you. The tapping will calm you so you can stay with the story, listening quietly. It may be the first time a "victim" has told anyone what has happened to him/her!

EFT is not a substitute for sound medical advice, so contact your own personal doctor when help is needed.

Sherrie Rice Smith
Certified EFT Practitioner

Monday, October 15, 2018

Example of Tapping in the Moment

Example of in the moment tapping:

A friend phoned to tell me she heard that the perp who sexually assaulted her was given an auto by her father.

She wasn't too happy with this.

I asked her to tap while she ranted.

No Set-up, no rounds, she just picked her own acupressure point and tapped while she yapped.

"There we go again. Reward the perp. Nothing for the victim. What are those people thinking? I'm so angry. My chest hurts. Why does no one care? I'm sad" and on and on she went.

5 minutes later she reported, "Ok, I'm finished. Let God figure it all out. I have things to do!"

Conversation over.

This piece of info could have ruined her day or even her week, or dragged out even longer, her health, had she continued to dwell on it.

She didn't. She tapped, giving it all to God.

EFT is not a substitute for sound medical or psychological care, so consult your own personal physician if you need that type of assistance.

Sherrie Rice Smith, R.N. (Retired)
Certified EFT Practitioner
Author of EFT for Christians (2015)
Author of EFT for Christians Advanced (2017)
Author of EFT for Christians 52 Tapping Devotions (2017)

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

EFT & Sin and its Emotional Impact

Recently, a friend of mine phoned to discuss Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).  Brenda (name changed) is a devout Christian woman, as I am, but she had concerns about an audio she had, at my request, listened to recently.
She outlined that concern in one statement, “It sounds like to me that we are healing ourselves” when using EFT.
That statement is the second most common Christian response to EFT.  I sadly hear it much too often.

Is this concept of healing ourselves the underlying dichotomy between humanism and Christianity?  Are humans taking credit, proudly, for what God performs, denying the Creator His due?
I think so. Humanism has been around since the Garden of Eden days. Man trying to replace God with anything that comes to mind, eliminating from us humans any responsibility for acting morally and uprightly, doing what in our minds is correct, or relativistic. Man makes the rules, not God.
George Gaylord Simpson, the late paleontologist of Harvard, wrote:
“Man stands alone in the universe, a unique product of a long, unconscious, impersonal, material process with unique understanding and potentialities. These he owes to no one but himself, and it is to himself that he is responsible. He is not the creature of uncontrollable and undeterminable forces, but is his own master. He can and must decide and manage his own destiny” (1953, p. 155).
However, Scripture says in Romans 1:28: “Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done”.
And again in Romans 1:25:  “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator”.
St. Paul said it well in these 2 Scripture verses. Man rejects God and His eternal teachings, creating his own warped, misguided, immoral mind and misconstrued behavior, tainting everything around him with these untruths.
Humanists have set forth their creed in Humanist Manifesto I (1933) and again in the Humanist Manifesto II (1973), stressing a belief system that man’s ideas are the most important, and denouncing anyone who has faith in a personal God and Savior as out of touch with reality. They write:   “We believe, however, that traditional or dogmatic or authoritarian religions that place revelation, God, ritual, or creed above human needs and experience do a disservice to the human species. Any account of nature should pass the tests of scientific evidence; in our judgment, the dogmas and myths of traditional religions do not do so.… We find insufficient evidence for belief in the existence of a supernatural; it is either meaningless or irrelevant to the question of the survival and fulfillment of the human race.… Promises of salvation or fear of eternal damnation are both illusory and harmful. They distract humans from present concerns, from self-actualization, and from rectifying social injustices. Modern science discredits such historic concepts as the “ghost in the machine” and the “separable soul.” Rather, science affirms that the human species is an emergence from natural evolutionary forces. As far as we know, the total personality is a function of the biological organism transacting in a social and cultural context. There is no credible evidence that life survives the death of the body” (1973, pp. 15-17).
Note the comment of “pass the tests of scientific evidence”.  Once again, humanists hearken back to the philosophy of 16th century Rene Descartes, who dismantled the centuries old theology of an integrated human, one that was physical and spiritual. We are not God or gods, as new age thinking suggests, but we are spiritual beings that also possess a physical body. Humanists believe no God exists, nor does man have need of Him.  Reason and intelligence will rule the day. Ethics are situational. Relativism reigns supreme. What any individual feels or thinks to be right and good is then right and good for that person, no matter how it affects or impacts anyone else around the person.
This relativism opens big cans of worms, such as any behavior should be tolerated because what God says about that behavior is irrelevant. One of the biggest impacts is in the area of sexuality. Humanism allows every sexual sin. In fact, they actually encourage the expression.  Nothing is harmful. It opens the door to homosexuality, abortion, incest, free divorce, etc. Everything is permissible; nothing barred.
What happens to a Christian’s moral base when, in a momentary lapse, (s)he falls for the relativism of the humanist? Sin is committed against the Creator. Eventually, when the sinner repents of that sin and knows Jesus’ forgiveness, there are occasions when the guilt or remorse still seems overwhelming. Those emotions are so disturbing that they interfere with the believer’s worship and prayer life.
Don’t panic!  We don’t heal ourselves, but God does, as He has implanted in you a method for dealing with those emotions & their possible physical effects, finally and for all, laying them at the foot of the Cross, where they belonged all along, because Jesus has already paid the price. That method is EFT.
 We give God the glory and praise for healing us. God put the tapping mechanism in us for healing & we simply do the EFT process. God heals!
As a Christian EFT practitioner, I have assisted many of my brothers and sisters through this & other clearing processes. Emotions resulting from earlier abortions, divorce, incest, sexual abuse, rape, etc. can many times be ameliorated through tapping. I would be honored to tap with you and teach you this process for moving out some spiritual blockages in your life.
For more information, go to  www.eftforchristians.com
To schedule a free 15 minute consultation to see if EFT is right for you, email me at EFTforChristians@gmail.com
Always remember to take complete responsibility for your own health and well-being.  Contact a medical professional, if necessary.

Sherrie Rice Smith, R.N. (Retired)
Certified EFT Practitioner
Author of EFT for Christians
EFTforChristians.com

Monday, June 15, 2015

What Trauma Does to Us


 Here is a blog article from someone who has had sexual abuse:  This is reprinted with permission. 

If you are similarly suffering, it is time for God to heal you!  Please contact me. See the contact information at the bottom of this blog article.

"Missing June
For those of you abused, what has your abuser(s) taken from you recently? For me, it was my June.
I wait all year for June. It is the equivalent of a kid waiting for Christmas. There are so few precious Junes in our lifetime. Each needs to be properly celebrated and experienced with the June-only traditions like strawberry picking, garden hose frolicking, first-time outdoor swimming, planting of the state-fair zinnias and wayyyyy… too many trips to the ice cream stand. Ah, and kids’ softball. Warm nights watching the games with the evenings played under the lights being a special treat.

Junes come too fast and furious following the craziness of May. May is filled with new spring events, awards ceremonies and end-of-school-year chaos. Then suddenly, one morning we wake-up and June is here in all it’s warm-but-not-too-hot and sometimes-thunderstorms-but-not-gray-skies-glory.

I am always the happiest in June. Last year at the end of this month, I made my husband and our daughters sit in a circle on the living room floor for a special good-bye to June ceremony. We held hands and I sang “Amazing June how sweet the sound, that saved a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) like me. I was once blue but now I’m not, because of vitamin D.” We then went around the circle and shared our favorite thing about June. The rest of the participants weren’t nearly as excited as I, but no matter. I had a glorious moment sitting with my loves reminiscing about the baby animals we had rescued in the past 4 weeks.

This year I started talking about June early. Maybe all the way back in March when we were on our 6th month of dark sky misery. I speculated what June day the bunnies would greet us by the neighbor’s evergreens and debated over if we would try to grow another vegetable garden. And I could not wait to have my three girls all to myself, all day every day.

But this June sucked. Today is already June 13 and the past two weeks are a sucky suckish suck filled fog. I vaguely remember standing at a podium in an elementary school cafeteria asking our school board president to resign after learning of character letters he and a local priest had written for a convicted pedophile. The priest went as far as stating he didn’t feel this dangerous predator deserved any jail time! This injustice triggered the dreaded storm to brew in my every pore. I had certain knowledge a door I rarely even peek through, and then, only when I absolutely have to, was about to fly off its’ hinges and pin me under. But I knew someone had to remind these men who so callously protected a man who enjoyed child rape that there just happens to be tiny victims that you are forgetting.


And fly open that door did. First the anger overtook me. Anger for these nameless and faceless kids used and thrown away that this priest and school board president just seemed to be forgetting as they stood tall with a dangerous pedophile. And then the anger of the past came roaring-in which morphed into two weeks lost to PTSD so debilitating I slept only a few fitful hours a night and jumped so violently at every little startle I had bruises from banging into things. My abusers’ huge adult faces loomed over my smaller child’s and I could see the wrongness in their eyes and feel the scratchiness of faces. I would wake up choking and try a cool shower to calm me but then the sound of the shower would take me back to a bathroom I hid in as a 13-year-old, naked and vulnerable. And it all just kept coming and coming. It was relentless. The sounds and smells. The voices. The hands. And all I wanted was to reach-out and comfort the other girls that I knew these monsters also had tried to ruin. The ones that like me, had no voices.

This third week has been sheer exhaustion just trying to cope. Coping meaning getting out of bed. And off the floor. For the first time this summer, I walked through my yard and performed one of my all-time favorite June activities- cutting flowers. Bob did a particularity good job on the gardens this year and I was just now observing the roses, daylilies, red-hot poker and dozen other beauties. Inside, as I looked at my collection in a vase, a sudden grief over swept me so fierce it took my breath away. Bob could only hold me and repeat “I’m sorry” as I bawled over and over “I lost my June. I have no June. Because someone took something from me merely because he wanted it, I have lost my June.”

And this is how it goes when surviving sex abuse. Things were stolen from you and no matter how many times you feel that you have made peace with this knowledge, there comes those times you just want them back. There are always the befores and only-ifs. People who love you will prompt you to go through your gratitude list and heal and stay in the present and yes, eventually you do. But damn, when it comes up it is brutal. And different everytime. This time was more anger. Last time it was darkness and depression after one of my abusers, a priest, was removed from a church due to a young girl’s allegations of abuse. I remember thinking My God Yes! Finally Justice!  Finally people will see him for the monster he really is and not his clever facade of the holiest of all men. But in a matter of months he was back out among a new flock of voiceless children.


And here in my hometown, this is what is happening all over again. A pedophile is removed and another man steps-in to defend him. And neither this man the priest, nor the other man the school board president, penned a letter of defense for the kids. The kids that very well today may be dead. And the predator that greatly contributed to their demise gets released from prison in half the time because these men decided it was a swell idea to present the court with letters containing all the selfless things he has done like contributing large sums of money to the church.

Today, and probably forever, the survivor guilt in me agonizes over the amount of victims my abusers had in their lifetimes: those who came before me and those who went after.. I want nothing more at this moment than to tell them that I am paying attention. And I will not forget them.
And I wonder what these men took from them today…"

For more information go to www. EFTforChristians.com .  To schedule a free 15 minute EFT consultation to see if EFT is right for you, email me at EFTforChristians@gmail.com.

Always remember to take complete responsibility for your own health and well-being.