Wednesday, April 13, 2016

How Much Healing Guts Do You Have?


 When I go into a group of hurting women like those in some support group where their spouses have died, or the spouse has abandoned them for another woman, I hear that same mantra repeatedly, “I want God to heal me through and through. I’m so done with feeling hurt.”

As the group moderator continues to lead them week after week through EFT clearing, it is interesting to watch the varied reactions. Some women open up quickly, easily, baring their souls to one another; others are more reticent, holding back, waiting for the just the right time to let loose of their own personal story.

All of that is good. People heal at a different pace, and even if a woman isn’t saying a word, but continues to tap with her fellow group members, there is a good chance God is healing her, too, in a more subtle way. That way is called “Borrowed Benefits.”

Decades ago, EFT founder Gary Craig, realized something “energetic” was happening underneath the surface of the group to whom he was speaking when he had a client up on stage, tapping with her/him.

Finally, Mr. Craig decided to run a small experiment of sorts. I won’t get this story’s details exactly right, and there are many variations of it out on the internet, but he had the entire audience write down on a piece of paper at the beginning of the conference all the issues that were bothering them right then and there.  Mr. Craig then told the attendees to put the paper away for the duration of the seminar.

On the last day of the conference he asked for another volunteer to come up on stage for a tapping demonstration to be done by him. Apparently no one raised their hand. At last, he asked the group to take out that paper on which they all had written the list that bothered them and take a look at it. It was right then that Mr. Craig realized the reason no one volunteered. He immediately saw that most of the issues written on those hundreds of slips of paper had been resolved while each attendee tapped along with the client up on the stage. That amazing occurrence was dubbed “Borrowed Benefits,” and we see it routinely in every single group or classroom where tapping goes on.

There is a physiological reason why it happens, but I don’t believe that was discovered until long after Mr. Craig figured out the concept.

God put in us something called, “Mirror Neurons.” These neurons are a particular type of brain cell that fires when we see an action performed. To a certain extent it is imitation. We sneeze; someone else in the room sneezes. We grab our glass to drink; another person does the same. It might even account for why a 2 year old wants his friend’s truck to play with right now, or the concept of a mob getting out of control during a sporting event. We learn by watching others, but more importantly we heal by doing the same thing.

It appears mirror neurons give us the ability to empathize with others and they give us the ability to interpret facial expression in others – we intrinsically understand what a frown means, or was that understanding learned from another, but interpreted by our mirror neurons? This reaction seems to be automatic, not something we put any thought into.  

Two locations in the brain where these neurons have been observed are the premotor cortex and the inferior parietal cortex. There are theories that these mirror neurons help with bonding between people, and that the mirroring intensifies over time.

Let’s get back to the gals in the room talking, and hopefully tapping, about their problems.
 I often challenge people around me to think about taking Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) a step further.

Maybe this article will motivate you to consider doing this, too.

All of us, me included, love to whine and complain about all of the awful things other people have done to us over the years. So and so did this and so and so did that to me, and “it ruined my life.”  I hear it all the time.

As we tap, God neutralizes the emotional impact of whatever awful things have happened in our lives, and forgiveness begins to set in, resulting in peace within our soul. I want to toss out a challenge.

What happens if we turn the table and ask God to point out to us where we went wrong – where we ourselves hurt someone else, inadvertently or intentionally?

That suggestion often sends the roomful of women into a buzz of conversation. “What? I was the victim. What are you talking about?” as they look incredulously at each other.

“I’m serious,” I reply, “Who in this room has the guts to ask God what they specifically did wrong to hurt someone in their life.”

This idea takes some intense thought and rumination. It is self-incriminating. This is where the meat hits the bones of Christian confession and repentance.

Can you ask God that question?

Frankly, it took me a very long time to do it. I cannot ask you to do so without me first trying it, can I?

I didn’t like at all what I heard from God. I’m not going to list all the sins I have committed in the past that hurt others here, but I will tell you it was an illuminating conversation with God.
Should you truly want to heal from top to bottom and from inside to the outside, try asking God that particular question.

My guess is He will require of you what He required of me. I had stuff to repent of, and it is the best thing that ever happened to me short of learning how to tap!

It cleared my soul and spirit. It repaired my relationship with my Savior. To date, God has not required me to go to any of the people He told me I hurt and ask their forgiveness. Sometimes God requires that, and if He does of you, please go do it.

Often we know in our hearts our intentions toward someone were wrong, but that person never picked up on it as you meant it. God often doesn’t require us to ask forgiveness for those things because it would mean we would probably hurt the person in the explaining what we did and what we meant to do. We would cause more pain in the apologizing and asking for forgiveness. It’s our own guilt He wants us to deal with.

So, back to my original question: How much healing guts do you actually have? Are you willing to go that extra mile with God, and allow Him to show you where you went relationally wrong? Instead of us always complaining what others did to us, are we open enough to be told and to understand what our behaviors and words mean to others?

Only you and God can figure this one out. I simply offer it as a suggestion as an advanced technique you can use for further clearing with EFT.


God bless your tapping!

Sherrie Rice Smith, R.N. (Retired)
Certified EFT Practitioner
Author EFT for Christians (2015)

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