Emotional Pain Sticks to US

It’s indeed a bit like treating the symptoms vs. treating the cause. The “symptoms” are our emotional angst and possibly physical issues. The underlying “cause” (disease) is our trauma, big stuff or lots of little stuff, hurtful memories, and disturbing events in our life. Those emotional “causes” stick around in our cells where our unconscious mind puts them, completely unknown to us. Our cells can be equated to a house attic, storage unit, old barn loft, etc. We stuff items in any or all of those places, forgetting about them, until sometime possible catastrophic happens and NOW we have to deal with the stored up junk. Emotionally it’s the same thing. Bad stuff happens, we “get over it” (time doesn’t heal all wounds, sorry, folks!), move on and THEN our body starts yelling and our emotions begin to flare, forcing us NOW to deal with the past - all those things we stuffed in our emotional attic, barn, and storage unit. Tapping BEFORE we accumulate all that junk keeps the “storage” unit of our unconscious mind clear, clean, and uncluttered! Tap, tap, tap! Sherrie Rice Smith Certified EFT Practitioner EFTforChristians.com Author of EFT for Christians 5 Book Series

Dr. Gabor Mate on Emotional Pain

A wonderful Dr. Gabor Mate video explaining why many of our negative behaviors - gambling, workaholic, alcohol & drug addiction, porn, sex, eating, nail biting, shopping, etc., etc. have underlying trauma driving it all.

It can take just one negative emotional episode, one comment, for us to begin a lifetime core belief (belief bomb) that transforms our life and sends us spiraling into some type of chronic life altering behavior, something we never asked for and cannot often understand how we arrived there.

Tapping is often the answer to this emotional pain. If you haven't begun your tapping journey, today might just be the day!

Remember, EFT is not a substitute for sound medical care, so please contact your own personal physician if medical or psychological care is needed.

Sherrie Rice Smith

Certified EFT Practitioner

EFTforChristians.com

Author of EFT for Christians 5 Book Series

Stress Effects on Our Body Video

Pretty cool video showing ALL the reasons we need to tap!

I've written on EFT for Christians Facebook page and in the 5 EFT for Christians books extensively about this precise mechanism.

This is a wonderful visual illustration of how & what stress does to us.

Instead of meditation, we use EFT. Both are effective as they initiate the same physiological relaxation mechanisms God created in our bodies to keep us healthy.

Enjoy the short video!

Remember, EFT is NOT a substitute for sound medical or psychological advice, so please contact your own personal physician when help is needed.

Sherrie Rice Smith

Certified EFT Practitioner

EFTforChristians.com

Use Promo Code SAVE20 when ordering from Publisher to get 20% Off

Epigenetics and Today's Societal Unrest

I enjoy going back to reread some of these older epigenetic articles. How much of today's unrest is rooted in past generations?

I quoted a small snippet for those who may not be familiar with epigenetics. Long, but good read, if you like the science of why we tap!

"Bygren and Pembrey proposed that epigenetic mechanisms were at work. Epigenetics, which means, literally, “above genes,” describes how genes are turned on and off by certain molecules that attach to them—called epigenetic marks. The marks essentially act like on/off switches for genes. The cells that make up your brain and your muscles all have the same DNA at their center, and yet the reason the cells lead entirely different lives involves how epigenetic marks turn on or off particular genes, giving the cells their own unique identities. That was known well prior to Bygren and Pembrey’s work. The stunning implication of the ALSPAC smoking data and the Överkalix data was that some important epigenetic marks that impact human health might not get wiped clear between generations, but might actually be passed down for multiple generations along with genes. Bygren finally published his initial Överkalix data in 2001, and he and Pembrey published their joint work in 2006, in the European Journal of Human Genetics. Meanwhile, transgenerational epigenetic inheritance was being definitively demonstrated in animals."

Please send me your thoughts about this article and how tapping can help Christians today release our emotional societal pain and allow God to be God. I'd love to hear from you!

God bless your tapping journey! Join us on Facebook for more discussion opportunities!

Visit my EFT for Christians website and request the free EFT information I have listed there.

And grab a copy of my 5 EFT for Christians How-to Tap books to obtain a thorough understanding of how to incorporate the Christian components into your EFT tapping!

Remember, EFT is NOT a substitute for sound medical or psychological care, so please contact your own personal physician when you need that type of help.

Sherrie Rice Smith

Certified EFT Practitioner

EFTforChristians.com

Author of EFT for Christians 5 Book Series

Matrix Reimprinting YouTube Video

Here is a YouTube video where Dr. Craig Weiner is talking about Matrix Reimprinting.

This might give you a sense of how MR works.

Dr. Craig Weiner Talking Matrix Reimprinting

Remember EFT is not a substitute for sound medical or psychological care, so please consult your own personal physicians when that care is needed.

Sherrie Rice Smith

Certified EFT Practitioner

EFTforChristians.com

Author of EFT for Christians Tapping in God's Peace & Joy (2016)

Author of EFT for Christians Advanced  (2017)

Author of EFT for Christians 52 Tapping Devotions (Christmas, 2017)

Author of EFT for Christians Devotions (Christmas, 2018)

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EFT for Christians Video #37 Personal Tapping Lessons

In this video EFT for Christians will demonstrate how a personal tapping session might look like as an example of sound tapping practice:

EFT for Christians Video # 37

Remember, EFT is not a substitute for sound medical or psychological care, so make an appointment with your own personal physician when that care is needed.

Blessings in the Risen Christ!

Sherrie Rice Smith
Certified EFT Practitioner

EFTforChristians.com

Author of EFT for Christians Tapping in God's Peace & Joy (2016)

Author of EFT for Christians Advanced  (2017)

Author of EFT for Christians 52 Tapping Devotions (Christmas, 2017)

Author of EFT for Christians Devotions (Christmas, 2019)

Use Promo Code SAVE20 when ordering from Publisher to get 20% Off

EFT and Shame

Little is discussed in the EFT world about the emotion of shame. Guilt and feeling ashamed do present themselves on occasion while tapping, with guilt being the most predominate one of the three, but rarely does shame turn up.

Let’s establish a definition of each one.

Guilt tends to be our inner conscience telling us we did something wrong, a behavior that was immoral, a mistake or a perception of a bad behavior, leading us to a remorseful feeling, and eventually bringing us to conviction by the Holy Spirit to repent of our sin (Cor. 7:10).

Ashamed is a feeling of embarrassment or regret about something we ourselves did, an action we took against another, which led to exposure of us, or of our motives.

Shame, however, I believe, is the strongest and the most destructive of all three emotions.

Shamefulness focuses on oneself. It is attached to personal distress, giving the person a dark, foreboding sense that there is something seriously wrong with them. It is horribly negative and highly charged. Failure, hurt, and helplessness are intertwined under the umbrella of shame. Because of the helpless factor, shame can be a major cause of childhood trauma, leading to PTSD.

Shame focuses on who one is. Often mothers tell their children, “Shame on you,” when a child exhibits a behavior the mother dislikes.  Most times it is not the child the parent detests, but the behavior; however, stating it as a personal affront, the child can perceive it as there is something embarrassing or humiliating about them. The child can see himself as disgraceful, a failure, a bad person, as unimportant, or even unlovable. The tone of the parent’s voice, or their actions, such as wagging a finger at the child, burns those words ever more deeply in the subconscious of the child’s mind.  No doubt the child deeply feels within their physiology all of that sensory information around that statement.  

Shame becomes internalized contributing to who we really think we are, leading eventually to feelings of disconnection from everyone because we see ourselves in a negative light.

If a child feels shame from a parent who rears them, perceiving that he is not lovable, there is no way the child can feel attached to that parent. If the child feels defective, no one could possibly love them, including the parent. This perception carries over into adulthood in most cases.

Shame underlies many of our negative adult behaviors including infidelity (we keep looking for someone to love us), depression (there is no hope of ever being loved because I am a mistake and I belong to no one anywhere), substance abuse (anything to drown out the voices that keep telling us that there is nothing good about me), or pornography (using someone else to make me feel better).

There is absolutely nothing helpful about shame. It simply destroys the individual emotionally, and eventually kills the spirit to live, occasionally leading to suicide.

Shame drives us away from community. We can never allow any vulnerability at all. If another human being found out what I really am all about, rejection is sure to come, causing more shame. Fear of being judged or condemned by others keeps one from ever opening up about their true self.

There is not enough hope in the universe to ever help one who is overcome with shame believe anything in life will ever change. Few people will chance telling another what they feel for fear of further rejection, compounding the pain. The biggest fear of the shamed one is someone else finding out how badly they actually feel inside.

Shame is a universal feeling of self-hate, inferiority, fear of exposure, and humiliation packed into a vessel of complete separation from mankind, and from God Himself. It is packed together with the sense of loss of reputation, disgrace, dishonor, loss of belonging, along with the loss of integrity and virtue.

Underneath shame are core beliefs such as: “I’m a phony, I’m a bad person, I don’t deserve anything in life, it’s all my own fault, I’m a mistake, I’m damaged, I’m flawed, I am wrong, I am worthless, I’m inadequate, I’m dirty, I am unworthy, I hate myself, I’m an idiot, I’m stupid”, etc.

Shame shows up as anxiety, anger, depression, exaggerated pride, total helplessness, externalized blame, prejudice, envy, boasting, bullying, hate, judgmental attitudes, bigotry, righteousness, revenge and grudges, physical complaints, all types of antisocial behavior including gang membership and sexual performance clubs with anger tending to be the underlying emotion that triggers the others.

Shameful feelings are always seeking validation where one will constantly apologize for their behavior, or they will never apologize for anything for fear someone will once again shame them. An abusive relationship is better than no relationship. Those who carry shame gravitate to other needy people because they feel no “healthy” person would tolerate them. Shamed people will go to great lengths to garner approval, such as work extra-long hours or do the jobs no one else wants to do, or do anything to not receive criticism, as that indicates withdrawal of approval. Over-sensitization and fear dominate the life of a shamed person. It may well be the root cause of those who label themselves “hypersensitive” because they feel vulnerable about everything in life.

Shame often is intergenerational. If a parent has a core emotion of shame, walking through life in a joyless manner and isolated from others, the offspring learn the same behaviors and feelings, personalizing them from the parent who has little encouragement or love to offer because they themselves never had any to give.

Physical symptoms include chest heaviness, slumped shoulders where a person is attempting to minimized themselves so no one can criticize them, no eye contact, halting or hesitant speech, completely giving up making any decisions for themselves, allowing others to care for them because they cannot trust their own decision making, low energy, nausea, flushing or embarrassment when anyone speaks or looks their way, and isolation from others physically and emotionally.

Psychologists believe shame tends to begin early in childhood, most likely infancy, when the mother-child attachment bond is disrupted, and the baby perceives an emotion of not being wanted or loved by the parent.

Although shame tends primarily to come from the outside from an authority figure who has criticized or withheld love and attention, it can also be caused by one’s own actions, and the feelings that follow the mistake one made. It can be all mixed together with feeling of being ashamed for a sin or an unintended mistake. One goes from feeling ashamed of their behavior to shame inside for making the mistake or doing the deed in the first place, i.e. “I should have known better or I should have acted better.”

As a Christian, we have a Savior who has taken on Himself all our shame as He died on the Cross at Calvary. Jesus Himself experienced extreme shame, as He was hung as a result of our actions and sins while completely exposed and naked. Jesus was guiltless but He took on all the shame of mankind at His death, and defeated it all!

Romans 8:1-2 reads, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”

EFT is a wonderful God-given tool to deal with shame. Shame is a core emotion that can destroy us physically and emotionally if not dealt with adequately. It is like acid that continues to eat us up inside day after day.

Several points need to be made about using EFT on the emotion of shame.

Confess any part or piece of any incidents that involve shame to God, asking for forgiveness and repenting of any wrongdoing. This may include behaviors that were acted upon because of the feelings of shame. They all must be confessed to repair the vertical relationship with God.

When we hurt, we find something outside ourselves to salve that pain. The behaviors we use to cover up the pain often times are wrong and sinful.

Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind any memories or behaviors that need to confessed and healed, and then tap on those after confessing them.

The memories around the shame and the subsequent behavior will most likely not go away, but with the tapping the emotions around the memories will be cleansed; however, first the memories must be confessed if they were hurtful to God or another person. The tapping will relieve the repetitious wave of shame that comes from the memory.

Sometimes, and this is not mandatory, it is helpful to find some Scripture passages that reveal God’s truth about whatever the shame based memories were. Perhaps write those down and repeat them until they are memorized. Fill in that mindful space where satan’s lies were removed with the Word of God.

You may feel led by the Holy Spirit to make restitution to a person whom you have hurt with the sinful behavior. If God tells you to apologize, then do so. If it is a monetary mistake you made, you may want to consider following the Scriptural mandate of double restitution.

Be vigilant and mindful watching carefully for any further condemnation satan my try to bring upon you based on past thoughts and behaviors. If any of those thoughts bring with them a physiological response, take the time to tap on them, too. They probably are remaining aspects of the shame based behavior. The more aspects you tap and remove, the less power satan has to condemn you based on past behaviors.

God is faithful and just to forgive our sins.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).

Apparently, with many people laden with shame (and guilt), we Christians need to make it easier and safer for others to be transparent, allowing for honest conversation about our hurts and pains. Taking the time to listen to others explain in detail what they feel and what happened in the past that got them to this point, gives the hurting person the validation they so desperately seek.

Christian EFT practitioners are in the perfect God-given position to do just this. Listening to a client in a non-judgmental manner tell their lifelong story of pain and hurt allows for this deep, honest conversation. It is this conversation coupled with the physiological tapping and confession, if needed,  that will lead to a full healing of the emotion of shame, opening up an entirely new world of relationships for that client.

Remember to take personal responsibility for your own emotional and physical health. If your shame based emotions are deep and you feel difficult to work with, please hire a certified Christian EFT practitioner to help you.

Sherrie Rice Smith, R.N. (Retired)
Certified Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner

Author EFT for Christians (2015)

EFTUniverse Trainer

EFTforChristians.com 

EFT for Christians: YouTube Video Personal Peace Procedure # 11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM3K5k_nnV0

EFT is not a substitute for medical care, so please consult your own personal physician for all emotional and physical needs.

Sherrie Rice Smith
Certified EFT Practitioner
EFTforChristians.com 

Military Mother Who Needed Tapping Help

I’m bringing this case to the EFT community to make a point that we practitioners are very concerned about our vets through the Stress Project (http://stressproject.org), but I think we need to actively watch for anyone else related to these PTSD soldiers, too, as many of them are suffering from the same issues as their loved ones. We need to see that they are also treated by using EFT to eliminate their issues around military deployment and retirement.

Catherine’s son is an active military soldier, serving his country proudly, but Catherine is the one who is also showing signs of PTSD. As she sat in my office, her stoicism came through – she was trying desperately to hold it together. I gave her my standard EFT how to speech & had her sign the waivers, etc. She pulled a package of tissues out of her purse, so I made sure I gave her permission to cry all she wanted.

Catherine started off with her story. I need not relate all the details and I used the standard Gary Craig EFT short cut tapping procedure, but in the beginning I essentially could not get Catherine to take a breath. She had to tell me the entire story around her son’s military career and how he ended up in the physical mess he is in. I literally couldn’t get a word in edgewise. After about 5 minutes, I told her I would listen, but she needed to pick a tapping spot & just tap while she talked, using the tap & rant technique. Everything was a SUDS of 9 for her.

Her deployed son messed up his back in basic and something else went wrong with his heart, giving him a cardiac issue, forcing him to the point where he was forbidden by the Army to exercise, although he had been a star athlete in high school. It took our US Senator to get the Army moving on issuing her son’s medical discharge, which was coming up soon, meaning he would be back home again with them. The empty nest was about to be refilled! Catherine was scared to death!

On his last leave her son was experiencing nightmares, screaming out much of the night, while keeping a loaded gun under his bed. “I’m scared for him” and the tears started in earnest. To be honest, I have not had a client cry this long or sob this hard ever! Usually, the tears dry up within a few minutes, but not so with Catherine! She cried for nearly an hour. Some of the time, I simply sat next to her, saying nothing, except reminding her to continue to tap & telling her the pain would release.

 Catherine, a Christian, like we all would, had some deep-seated fears around the fact that her son would hurt someone. “He loves us so much, but I’m so afraid of what he could do. He was the gentle giant in high school, always looking out for the underling & standing up for them,” she told me.

Finally, I had an intuitive hit that she was fearful that her son might simply commit suicide, so I said, “I’m afraid he will kill himself.” I surely had that one correct!

The sobbing started all over again. Then the core issue showed itself. “I want all my kids in heaven with me, but if he kills himself, I will never see him again.” And the sobbing continued unabated.

I told her that I pushed the issue, saying what the Holy Spirit whispered to me, because it was the most awful truth she was actually thinking – the bottom line, so to speak. With the core issue out in the open, and the tears finally subsiding,

Catherine & I cleaned up on a couple other emotions to include: sorrow, regret, anger, feeling stuck, EFT’s favorite thing to do, unstick us, and other odds and ends.

When Catherine left, I could see clarity in her eyes and a steadiness that wasn’t apparent when she walked in initially. I told her so, too.

She had nicely reframed most of the issues on her own and I could see she was ready to take them on however they presented themselves. We tapped in a few of her favorite Bible passages to seal the deal.

There are 2 crowning blows that makes the synchronicity of the connectedness of us all so unbelievable is this: I had a box of toys in the corner in an old poultry gift box. Catherine spotted it and told me, “It is one of ours.”

Sure enough and I had never noticed the printing before, since this was my first meeting with Catherine, the box had her last name on it! They had sold their farm a few years back when the children had all left home.

Here I had picked up that box years before at a rummage sale & now Catherine, whose farm name was on it, was sitting in my office for EFT 10 years later!

Secondly, her R.N. daughter was leaving shortly to serve at a denominational medical mission in Africa where a friend of mine 40 years was the 2nd R.N to serve at that exact mission site! What a crazy “coincidences” these are; however, we all know there are no such things as coincidences!

As a Christian, I know God has it all lined up just the way it all should be.

For more information, go to EFTforChristians.com.

To schedule a free 15 minute consultation to see if EFT is right for you, email me at eftforchristians@gmail.com

Always remember to take complete responsibility for your own health and well-being. Contact a medical professional, if necessary.

Sherrie Rice Smith, R.N. (Retired)
Certified EFT Practitioner
Author of EFT for Christians (available on my website)
EFTforChristians.com